Story Pairing Requests
by rendezvous2
Summary: * *Requests are open anytime!** Just something fun for me, and you! Request any Naruto character, pairing, genre, OC (with or without discription) and if you want, the plot too! Otherwise, I'll come up with something for you. Leave a review, message me, the works. (I will be honest, trying to stay away from the lemons for now)
1. Chapter 1

**Request stories here! Comment anything: OC, character, plot, genre, rating, OOC or not, the works, otherwise I can come up with something for you lovelies! This is just something I want to experiment with since some characters in Naruto I'll probably never even think about writing about, but for others, it's their favorite so yah. The requests will probably be open for a VERY long time, since I'm getting the hang of them, and it's fun! Only one sort of rule (I guess?) I've been requested a couple of lemons and I did write them, but for the time being, I'd like to stay away from them for a while. Thanks! and enjoy ^-^**


	2. Naruto's Punishment

**Hello peeps! This was requested by GardenMaster1! Enjoy :)**

Naruto was stuck in a wall.

After Sasuke left two years ago, Naruto suffered Sasuke- withdrawal and had turned to extreme pranking as an outlet. As a result, his ninja peers were often a target of his pranks. Up until now, no one had ever thought to get him back. Until now...

Ino's turquoise eyes narrowed and she smiled wickedly. "Naruto, you're about to pay the price for your crimes." Being a medic ninja, it had been easy for her to put together a ramen- addictive, and had slipped the drug into Naruto's lunch. The result? An extremely ramen- filled, enlarged Naruto. By that time, it was a simple task for Ino to drag his plump body to the busiest part of town and had managed to pull him through a small hole in the wall, effectively trapping him there. Now, it was time for her revenge.

"Naruto, do you know what I'm going to do?" She asked innocently. Naruto groaned and shook his head. She smiled a closed- eye smile. "I- Ino Yamanaka- am going to get you so good, you won't dare to prank again." Naruto's blue eyes widened in fear. Ino reached into her kunai holder and pulled out...

A black marker.

"NOOO!" Naruto yelled and tried in vain to wiggle out of the tight spot- literally. Ino growled and grabbed his head with her arm, managing to draw a shaky mustache on his face. Naruto cried out in horror. Ino shook her head. "It would've been better if you would've just stayed still. But, I'm not done yet." She grinned gleefully and raced to the other side of the brick wall, where Naruto's lower half of his body was exposed, and perfect for her plans.

Passerbys stared awkwardly at the girl as she reached for Naruto's pants. His entire body started flailing around once more in desperation to escape her hands, but it was to no avail. The pants were down, revealing his baby blue and purple striped boxers.

"Ino- ho- ho- hoo." Naruto whined and shifted uncomfortably. Ino guffawed loudly as the extremely manly pattern was shown to the entire Leaf village. But she wasn't done yet, no, not even close. There was work to be done.

In on of her hands was a bag, full of things she was prepared to use against Naruto. And in her other hand was a small spatula. Ino giggled and wound her arm back, then let it swing forward with a chakra- infused hit. Naruto howled in pain and embarrassment as the spatula hit his butt.

"Ino! I'm a man! This is plain disprespectful!" He shouted to her from the other side of the wall. Ino's eyebrow quirked in irritation at his words.

"Hey! You want to talk disrespect? How about that one time you strung up a line of Sakura and mine's PANTIES. That is DISRESPECTFUL BOY." She shouted and smacked his butt again. Naruto sighed and hung his head in frustration. He wiggled his hands, which were stuck on the other side of the wall. He was trapped for the time being, at least until all the ramen was digested.

Ino harrumphed and retrieved the next weapon of choice from the bag. Somewhere in the Akatsuki lair, ominous music began playing. Naruto could practically see his reputation flash before his eyes.

She dramatically flourished a water balloon. Ino raised it and threw the balloon aimed at Naruto's backside. He shrieked and attempted to recoil.

"Ow! What is that?!" He yelled and writhed around. The ice cold water had begun to seep into his boxers, creating a large wet spot. To onlookers, it looked like he had wet his pants. Ino was rolling on the floor, trying to breath between her laughter.

A couple people had stopped to stare at the two. But mostly, at the teenage boy who had apparently wet himself. A little girl stepped forward and pointed at him. "Mommy, look. That silly boy went pee pee in his pants!" She screamed and giggled. Naruto's heart began pounding. He desperately flailed his hands around. "No! No you got the wrong idea, that's not, I mean, I didn't actually, I...INO WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOU'RE DEAD!" He finally said. Ino grinned and flicked her hair out of her eyes.

"Naruto, just think of this as repayment for all the times you pranked me. Hm." She suddenly stopped talking and put her finger to her lips. What to do next? There was a silence...then...

Naruto burst out laughing uncontrollably, looking like he was having a seizure. Ino's hands were merciless, brutally tickling his tummy.

"INO- SERIOUSLY- STOOOOP- HAHAHAHA- STOPUUHHH- HAHAHA!" At this point, Naruto began crying from laughing so hard. Ino was just having too much fun. Whipping out a small camera (do these things even exist in this world? Lol, sorry), she ran to the other side of the wall and snapped a picture of the crying/ laughing, ramen- induced Naruto. He didn't even try to stop her.

Ino sighed, feeling a little bad for him. After all, he wasn't a bad guy, just a little annoying. She smiled and put her hands on her hips.

"Naruto, you'd better have learned your lesson, yeah?" She said threateningly. Naruto nodded vigorously. Focusing her chakra on one fist, Ino sent a chakra- loaded punch at the brick wall, effectively smashing it and releasing Naruto from his prison.

He collapsed onto the ground, face down, not even bothering to pull up his pants. Ino giggled. Naruto grumbled something, but with his face planted in the ground, it was hard to hear what he was saying.

"Ino, mm din kye earned mm zin." He managed to say. Ino raised an eyebrow. "Come again?" Naruto lifted his head up, with his eyes closed, feeling mentally and physically drained.

"I think I learned my lesson."

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Just a short oneshot, not really a pairing, but kind of, but not really. Ok bye. Leave reviews, and like, and favorite, and [insert more shameless advertising here]**


	3. Naruto's Punishment 2

Hey peeps, this one's for Jeffry. Poor Naruto :) Shall we get to it? Enjoy.

(I guess this is a two shot? Lol who gives a damn)

It was, as most days were, a beautiful, relatively calm, day in the village of Konoha. A certain hyperactive, knucklehead ninja was currently staring with admiartion and pride at his newest prank setup. You think our loudmouthed friend would've learned by now not to prank, but after a few weeks of the "Ino Incident," Post- Sasuke Syndrome had begun to set in again.

Naruto was busy spreading the floor where Ino and Sakura would enter with clear jelly. The minute they tried to walk- SPLAT! And held by a dangerously thin rope was a bucket of mud. Not just any mud, but days- old, smelly, chunky mud with bits of who- knew- what in it. Naruto chuckled to himself when he pictured his victims' look on their faces.

His back was turned to the door when it opened. By the sound of it, it wasn't just two people. Naruto's eyes widened in surprise and horror when the talking stopped suddenly.

There stood, not only Sakura and Ino, but Ten Ten, Hinata, and even Temari. What was this, kunoichi gang up on Naruto month? Temari narrowed her turquoise eyes and stepped forward, hands on her hips. Naruto eyes the giant fan slung across her back.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" She said sharply. He gulped and slowly stood up, quickly hiding the brush he had been using to spread the clear jelly. Thank goodness it was clear, otherwise-

"Hey Ino, look at that weird clear jelly on the floor." Sakura said. Ino snapped her head towards Naruto. She had been a victim of his pranks for too long to think the jelly was nothing more.

"Naruto, need I remind you what happened the last time you pranked me?" She said. The kunoichi all gasped indignantly and suddenly, Hinata included, Naruto found himself being glared at by green, brown, turquoise, and pupil- less eyes. Never had sweet, innocent Hinata's clear eyes looked so scary.

Temari took her fan, closed, and slammed it onto the ground, rattling Naruto's bones. Whoever said girls weren't scary sure didn't know squat about girls. "So, you were trying to prank us, were you?" She said sweetly. At that time, that dangerously thin piece of rope holding the bucket of mud decided to suddenly break. Naruto seemed to be moving in slow motion, desperately trying to prevent the mud from going everywhere, but it was no use. Temari took the brunt of the blow, and the bucket bounced off one ninja to the other. Leaving the kunoichi drenching from top to bottom in mud. Somehow, Naruto had remained perfectly clean, not a single speck on him.

Sakura gasped and attempted to form coherent sentences, but to no avail. Ino was on the verge of throttling Naruto. Temari was taking deep breaths, trying hard not to kick his ass. Ten Ten was muttering things like, "idiot," and, "what was he thinking," and picking off dried mud. Poor Hinata was in an inner turmoil, half wanting to punch- but lightly!- Naruto for the prank, and half wanting to blush and faint at the thought of Naruto taking all this trouble to prank her (even though it was originally meant for just Ino and Sakura).

Finally, just as Naruto was trying to creep off undetected, Ino grabbed him by his ear and dragged him back to the circle of girls.

"Ladies, I don't think my message got through that thick skull of his last time. What do you say we show him what happens we you try to prank the kunoichi of the Leaf? And Sand." Ino added hastily after Temari's eyebrow quirked up. The girls nodded, and that was when Naruto made the move that would seal his fate.

He tried jumping through the open window next to the door.

Naruto yelled out in victory when he saw the open streets of Konoha, but realized that only half of him had made it out. The other, lower, half was stuck in the hospital. He had a sudden feeling of deja vu.

"Perfect. Let me run home real quick to grab a few...supplies. You ladies go right ahead without me." Sakura said brightly and ran home. From where he was trapped, Naruto tried to move his hands closer to at least form a hand sign, but at the angle he was at, there was no point. Even worse, this was the busiest part of Konoha, and it was lunchtime. Itchiraku's Ramen shop was directly in front of him, and people were constantly going in and out. The aroma of ramen wafted towards the hungry Naruto and he practically died inside.

Hinata poked her fingers together, unsure of what to do. "Um, he's trapped. What should we do?" She said timidly. Ten Ten slammed a fist into a hand and proceeded towards Naruto. "We get revenge, that's what we do! I haven't forgotten that one time he told Lee I hated training. That workout fanatic badgered me for days on end about working hard and the 'spirit of youth.'" She quoted sarcastically. Naruto gulped.

Sakura returned with a bag of goodies, at which Naruto looked suspiciously at. As if reading his thoughts, she stopped right next to his face and got out a paintbrush, dipped in black ink. She smiled sweetly. "I borrowed this from Sai. It's a, special, kind of ink." And before he could react, Sakura had painted a mustache on Naruto's face. He felt a weird sensation, as if his mustache was _moving_. In horror, he realised it was. "Sakura, that ink, that's not Sai's weird moving- drawings ink is it?!" He yelled. Sakura stuck her chin in the air and marched inside, leaving Naruto to cringe every time the strange mustache wriggled.

Temari reached into the bag and pulled out a jar of horseradish- with added tuna flavor!. She looked at it questioningly. "Just what are we going to need this for?" She asked. Sakura crossed her arms and harrumphed. "Since Naruto's always complaining about not eating Itchiraku, I thought maybe he could experience what it's like for people who don't have the luxury to whine about food. It's noon, anyways, so he'll be hungry all right. It's that or nothing!" She said deviously and took the jar from Temari. Sakura grabbed a spoon from the bag as well, and headed outside. "You guys help yourselves to anything in that bag. Be creative!" And with that, she marched outside.

Naruto's head popped up when he heard Sakura's footsteps. His smile dropped when he saw the jar of horseradish and spoon in her hands. Somewhere in the Akatsuki lair, ominous music started playing. Seriously, was there a radio there or what? Naruto eyed the jar suspiciously and with disgust.

"You don't expect me to _eat_ that stuff, do you?" He grumbled. Sakura smiled a closed- eye smile sweetly. "It's this or nothing." She said and uncapped the horseradish. The putrid smell from it made her eyes water, but she scooped a good portion of it into the spoon.

Naruto's nose flared from the disgusting smell. He looked across the street at the busy ramen shop with longing. Then back at the horseradish. Could that even qualify as food? The ramen smelled so good, even across the street. But it _was_ getting a bit late. The horseradish was so gross though! He didn't have any other means of food, though.

With a sigh of defeat, Naruto nodded sadly. Sakura's eyes narrowed and she smiled evilly. "Here comes the choo choo, Naruto! Open up!" With a more than necessary shove, the horseradish entered Naruto's mouth.

Saying it was disgusting was the understatement of the century.

Naruto's face turned purple, and his lips were turning white from the horseradish threatening to burst out of his mouth at any second. His eyes were disproportionate and bulging out the sockets.

Sakura's eye twitched. Naruto looked like a mess, with horseradish and saliva dirbbling down his chin, and his purple face twisted in disgust as he attempted to chew and swallow the vile food. Several people walking on the streets had blatantly stopped to take a picture of the strange boy. Sakura felt a twinge of sympathy for him, but squashed it immediately. She hadn't forgotten what he had just been caught doing. This was for the better. With that, Sakura marched back inside, to see what kind of plan the others had concocted.

Temari was standing next to Naruto's lower half, with Ten Ten about to pull Naruto's pants down, Ino with a bag of ice cubs, and Hinata with a very fluffy, very pink tut.

"What exactly are you guys doing?" Sakura asked. Hinata blushed, but Ino merely chuckled and said, "Just watch.

"Now!" Temari shouted and Ten Ten yanked Naruto's pants down. Ino poured the ice cubes in them, and pulled them back up. Finally, Hinata tied the tutu around Naruto's waist, and with him squirming and doing some variation of the can can.

All five kunoichi bursted out laughing, and were on the floor with tears of joy rolling down their faces.

"Hey! Guys, come on, this ain't cool! This is NOT the shinobi way! Guuuuys!" Naruto yelled, no doubt also attracting lots of attention from the passerbys. His butt had a mind of its own, doing a shimmy in order to get the ice cubes out of his pants.

Ino sighed and took a deep breath, then whipped out a camera and snapped a few pictures of the "great" and "mighty" Naruto, who was currently in a pink tutu with ice cubes in his pants.

"Care to do anything else, while we have him at our mercy?" She asked the other girls. Hinata fidgeted and blushed. "W-well, I do like the c-color pink a lot, and it looks good on N-Naruto, so..." She shyly took out a bottle of pink nail polish. Ten Ten's eyes narrowed evilly. "Perfect!" She said and took the bottle.

Naruto's hands were separated from each other, and only half of each hands was in the room, meaning Naruto could barely move his fingers. In their case, it was good news. For him, not so much.

Carefully and skillyfully, Ten Ten coated all ten digits with the sparkly and bright pink nail polish. It was light, so Naruto wouldn't find out about his newly manicured nails until he got out, or did his rasengan.

Ten Ten, Temari, Hinata, Ino, and Sakura stood before the tutu-ed, ice cubed, manicured lower half of the ninja known as Naruto. He said he was going to be Hokage.

"Guys?" Naruto's tentative voice came from the other side. "You've been really quite all of a su- DDEN!" And su-DDENLY, Naruto was thrust into the streets of Konoha, like a baby...being birthed from a window.

"Uuugghhh...I was _not_ ready for that." He moaned and flopped over, facing the sky. A little girl, who looked suspiciously like the little girl from before, broke away from her mother's hand and pointed at Naruto, lying eagle- spread on the sidewalk.

"Look Mommy! That silly boy is wearing a tutu! PINK!" She shrieked and giggled hysterically and ran back to her mom's side. At this point, Naruto didn't even bother to remove the tutu. It was like that fateful afternoon all over again.

The five kunoichi walked over to his side and leaned over his face. Temari leaned forward and pinched his ear. "You learn your lesson yet, you little brat?" Naruto squirmed like a little kid and nodded furiously. Temari, satisfied, let go. "Good. And if I'm home and hear about any _shenanigans_, don't think I won't march back here and beat you up." She said sweetly. Naruto made a noise of agreement.

"You don't need to worry about that. I really did learn my lesson this time." He sighed. Ino glared at him. "_Really_ learned it."


	4. Akatsuki Go Camping

**Sup peeps? This one is basically just a one shot I wanted to write about. Enjoy :) BTW: In this, Tobi and Sasori both exist, the Akatsuki all live together in their giant cave thing, some of them may be a BIT OOC, and electronics exist. Oh and also, there's some language in this, courtesy of our dear Hidan. **

**The Akatsuki Go Camping**

All was dull and boring in the evil Akatsuki hideout. Most of the members were either on missions or inside their rooms doing hobbies (impaling themselves, blowing things up, extracting organs, nothing special). One pair, however, was seated in the kitchen.

Kisame sighed and glanced up at Itachi, who stared at the fridge as passive as ever. He hadn't moved a muscle in nearly half an hour.

"You know, if you want food you can go ahead and get it. I won't judge." Kisame said and walked out to the living room.

Pain was already seated on the couch, reading a brochure, when Kisame arrived. Pain suddenly looked at Kisame and said, "What would you say if the Akatsuki all took a vacation and went camping?" Kisame blinked. A slightly awkward silence followed.

"Uh."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I love it." Kisame admitted, with all seriousness. A camping trip was just what he needed; he needed a break from the silent Itachi. Did he know how hard it was to carry a conversation when the only replies returned were dramatic eye blinks?

Pain nodded swiftly and stood up. "Excellent. I'll inform the ones on missions to return back at once. You, gather the ones upstairs." With that, Pain walked out without so much as an explanation on why the sudden vacation.

Kisame tried to act cool as he approached Itachi, who was still staring at the fridge. "Itachi, start packing. We're going camping- leader's orders." He said and left to go in search of Hidan, Deidara, and Sasori.

It wasn't hard to find Deidara and Sasori. Kisame just followed the noise of explosions and loud arguing. He knocked on the door twice before entering.

"Get packed, the two of you. Leader says we're going camping, so bring anything you think you might need." As he left, Kisame could still hear them arguing.

"Well I'll make sure to bring lots of clay!"

"Make sure it doesn't rot! After all, it shouldn't last very long, considering art should be eternal."

"The only thing you need to worry about rotting is yourself. And art is an explosion!"

Kisame sighed and searched the halls for Hidan's room. It was nearby, so he had no problem finding it. A dark red color was seeping out from under the door. Concerned, Kisame quickly opened the door.

There, Hidan was lying in the middle of the room, currently impaled by a metal pipe. Kisame winced as Hidan moaned in pleasure.

"So gooood..." He groaned. Kisame stared awkwardly at the black- and- white body.

"Um. Leader says we're all going camping, so pack your bags." With that, he silently walked out the room, not quite sure if Hidan had really comprehended what he had just said or not.

In less time than Kisame was comfortable with, Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, and Hidan all were waiting for the other members at the entrance of the hideout. Four bags were packed and lined up next to their owners. Pain soon arrived, followed by Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Tobi, who all (save for Tobi) looked less than happy about the situation.

Hidan scratched his head and said, "So almighty leader, why are we going on a damn camping trip? I get enough shit from that geezer already! I don't need to worry about learning how to start a fucking fire and learning fucking songs." He huffed and crossed his arms together, refusing to look at any of them.

Pain sighed and spoke. "Hidan, and you all listen to this as well. The reason we are taking a vacation is because I feel you're work ethics recently have been lacking. Konan gave me an idea the other day of a camping trip. This is a perfect opportunity for the Akatsuki to hone its survival skills. Everyone is here, yes? Konan is the only one excused. She said she had a _very_ important appointment for her hair to take care of. Something about divided roots or something." Pain shrugged. "It sounded painful."

With that, and ignoring Tobi's arm in the air, Pain led the Akatsuki out the hideout and onward to their destination. Instead of just teleporting there like normal S- rank ninja, all 8 members were led by Pain on foot to the camping grounds. Some went gladly, like Tobi (who was skipping and blabbering about talking marshmallows), and some went un- gladly, like Deidara (who was currently shaping clay into earplugs).

At long last, the Akatsuki arrived at the site. Pain went ahead and searched for the perfect spot. He was only stopped once, by one Leaf Shinobi who was sporting wacky blonde hair and what looked like cat whiskers on his face, but he forfeited the spot when Hidan arrived, moaning, and with a pipe shoved through his gut.

Kakuzu dragged the tent bag into the woods as Itachi pulled out the instructions sheet. He squinted at the small print, a faint blush appearing over his cheeks as he tried to read it in front of his fellow peers.

"It...says...get the top of the tent and...put the sticks in the ground." He said.

A silence followed.

Sasori grumbled something and tried to snatch the paper away. "Give me that, Itachi. Just let me read it!" He said, the sentence turning into a yell as Itachi was being difficult and refused to give it up.

"No! No, it's okay, I can read- No! Amaterasu!" He yelled and glared at the paper. Sasori flinlched and dropped it in a hurry. The Akatsuki watched as the instructions were engulfed in black flames, slowly curling into a small, black ball. Itachi blinked, his eyes returning to normal. "If I can't read it, then no one can." And promptly left in search of food (but ran into a tree first).

Pain cleared his throat awkwardly and issued orders. "Alright Kisame, follow Itachi and go look for food. I'm assured that you can fish quite well," Kisame gasped in horror, ",and I want you to make sure Itachi doesn't drown himself looking for food. Hidan and Kakuzu, you two set up the tent. It is not jutsu science, you can figure it out. Deidara, Sasori, you two go into the woods and gather wood." Sasori narrowed his eyes at Pain, suspicious of the fact that he was chosen to retrieve wood, and the fact that he was _made_ out of wood. Tobi tilted his head.

"Oh, oh, Leader- sama, what about Tobi! Tobi will do anything, he is a good boy!" He said happily and jumped up and down. A faint call from Deidara told him to shut up.

Pain gave Tobi a stern look and pointed at a fallen tree. "Go sit over there and don't touch or eat anything, Tobi." He ordered. Tobi nodded happily and sat down obediently. It unnerved Pain a bit as Tobi kept staring at him. He couldn't even see his eyes.

Meanwhile...

"No, no, Itachi, don't go that way. Not that way either. That's a bush." Kisame said tiredly. Itachi stopped patting the bush and looked at his partner. "Kisame, if you seem so inclined to order me around, then why don't you go look for food for a change." Kisame scoffed and crossed his arms. "Fine, I will! Geez." He muttered and stomped off, before he could reconsider leaving the nearly- blind man alone in a dark forest.

Kisame walked around before finding a small fruit tree. He couldn't tell what the fruit was, but it looked round and purple? Kisame swung Samehada around and grinned. One swing of the giant sword, and the tree was down. Kisame fell bad for using his sword for such frivolous tasks, but he had to get food one way or the other. Kisame gathered as many odd, purple fruits as he could into a small knapsack he'd brought along, and returned back to go find Itachi.

Meanwhile...

Sasori sighed irritably. It had nearly been ten minutes since he'd set Deidara off to go fetch wood. Did that fool even know where he was going? They were in a forest- full of trees! Getting up from his spot on the ground, Sasori went in search of the idiot, certain Deidara had met a premature death eating poison berries or something of the sort.

"Deidara? Where are you, you idiot?" Sasori called out. There was a snap behind him, and in a flash, Sasori whirled around and opened up his palm, emitting a blast of intense flames. They diminished, leaving behind a large crater of blackened forest ground, and several singed trees. Whatever was there wasn't there anymore. Sasori stomped out the last flickering flames and continued on his trek.

A sudden thought in the back of his mind occurred to him- what if that noise had been Deidara? Sasori stopped walking and contemplated the thought. He continued walking.

Meanwhile...

"No it doesn't, you old ass! Obviously that circle one goes into that circle shit. Psh, didn't you learn your shapes?" Hidan mocked. Kakuzu snapped his head towards the Jashinist. "Hidan, if you want to stay in one piece, I suggest you shut your mouth." He said angrily. Hidan snickered and twirled a tent pole. Kakuzu snatched it from his and tried to attach it to a flap on the tent. In frustration, he accidentally speared the flap with the pole. Kakuzu and Hidan both looked it for a while before Kakuzu decided it was good enough, and hammered it into the ground. Now just three more sides to go.

Meanwhile...

Itachi squinted at a small bush. He could make out vague shapes of what looked like some kind of berries. Itachi shrugged and started picking them off and stashing them in his knapsack. It was getting late, and the sky was already turning dark. If he didn't hurry, he's probably be spending the night out in the forest.

Itachi walked back in the direction he thought he came from. Really, it was the opposite way, but he marched on anyways. He stopped when he heard footsteps.

"Kisame, is that you?" He called out, and reached into his cloak for a weapon. His Sharingan appeared.

Weapons at hand, and genjutsu ready, Itachi stared at Deidara.

"Hmp. It's just you, Itachi." Deidara sniffed and flipped his hair over his shoulder, walking with a heightened air of complete diva and sass. Itachi walked after him, since unlike him, Deidara could see where he was going in the dark.

"Hey, what are you following me for? I'm supposed to be gathering firewood, so piss off man. Un." Deidara snapped. He stopped every once in a while to pick up a few twigs, or a log or two, but he didn't complain about Itachi following him around again.

"Deidara, why do you bore such a grudge against me?" Itachi asked. Deidara scoffed and kept walking, not really sure where he was going anymore.

"Because, I don't like you." Deidara stopped. Itachi rolled his eyes, mentally preparing himself for the rant he was about to endure.

"It's those damn eyes of yours. Those eyes- belittling me and my art! You want to know art? True art is something you feel- a short blast of beauty with such grace and sublime it cannot compare to anything in the world! Explosions! True art is an explosion, and that is something your cursed eyes can't see! EXPLOSIONS!" Deidara screamed and stomped off in search of Sasori.

Itachi blinked and pulled out his earplugs.

Meanwhile...

Kisame sighed in relief when he finally spotted Itachi, whom was waiting patiently on a log. "Hey! I told you not to move. You know your eyesight's getting worse. How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked and held up four. Itachi's lips tightened in slight discomfort as he answered, "Two." Kisame put his arms down. "That's close enough, now let's go. I went and murdered the fish already, so we can head back to camp now." Kisame said and the two made the trip back to camp.

Meanwhile...

Sasori whacked Deidara upside the head.

"Ooowwww! Sasori, my man, that seriously hurt! Those wooden hands of yours are not forgiving on my delicate head, I can tell you that, un." Deidara whined. Sasori growled and turned away from him.

"It has been thirty minutes since we've set out. I gave you ten. What, exactly, have you been doing?" He snapped. Deidara opened his mouth to speak, but Sasori cut him off. "You know how much I don't like to be kept waiting! You know!" He yelled and tossed his head back, walking away from Deidara. Rolling his eyes, Deidara followed him, making faces behind Sasori's back.

Without warning, Sasori suddenly turned his head 180 degrees, so only his head was facing Deidara. "Don't even think about doing that again." Sasori said with his eyes wide. His head turned a full circle and returned to its proper position. Deidara's eye twitched, as he was both creeped out and intrigued. Interesting...

The two made it back to camp successfully without killing one another.

Pain looked up as the remaining two members returned to base.

"Good. Now that everyone's here, we can eat. Sasori, Deidara, go make the fire. Itachi, Kisame, cook the food. Hidan, Kakuzu...finish that mess of a tent and Tobi." At his name, Tobi perked up and listened eagerly. "Keep sitting there." Tobi's shoulders drooped, and even the almighty Pain felt a bit sorry for the masked idiot.

Suddenly, he remembered something. "Where's Zetsu?"

Meanwhile...

Zetsu laughed at the joke the tree had just made. The forest was a real joy to be around, and Zetsu was fully taking advantage of that fact and the chance eto skip out on camping. Besides, he had a secret he'd rather not have revealed while in close proximity of the others- he'd never actually hung out with friends before because the sad fact was- he'd never had any.

Sasori grumbled as he rubbed two sticks together. If he could just give the fire a little help, it'd be roaring in no time. But the Leader had said, "No jutsu, genjutsu, explosions, puppets, detached body parts, or bloody rituals whatsoever."

With increased speed, a small flicker appeared on the twigs and soon a little fire. Sasori smirked in satisfaction and turned around. Deidara suddenly appeared and yelled, "Hey look, nice job Sasori my man!" And lightly punched Sasori's shoulder. Unfortunately, he missed and only knicked it, causing Sasori to stumble and step on the fire.

"Deidara, you damn brat!" He yelled and tried to, literally, stomp out the flames. Deidara screamed his head off and ran in search of water, or in this case, Kisame. Said shark- man appeared and clapped his hands together, preparing a water bomb jutsu, when Pain suddenly smacked them apart, and glared at him. Sasori was now rolling back and forth on the ground, smothering the rest of the flames out. Luckily, no major damages had occurred.

"Deidara..." He said through clenched teeth. Deidara gulped and ran into the pitiful tent Kakuzu and Hidan had set up. It was composedd of five sticks, one in the middle, holding up a tarp that had been punctured multiple times.

With incredibly terrible timing, Itachi had gotten impatient at how slow the fish was cooking, and deicded to use a fire style jutsu because, hell, he was Itachi Uchiha. As a result of that great idea, the fish along with a bit of Kisame's hair was cooked. "That's it, Itachi! I've had enough of your too- cool- for- school attitude and your actions! You can't see? Buy some damn glasses! But when you get my hair involved-" He shrieked and attacked his partner. Itachi's eyes narrowed and he aimed for Kisame's legs, trying to throw him off. The two were soon engaged in a brawl.

Pain facepalmed himself as he looked from Tobi, sadly sitting on his log, to the holy (get it? Hidan...) tent, to Deidara trembling inside, to Sasori burnt and shaking with anger, to Itachi and Kisame fighting, then thought back to the missing Zetsu. A decision was made.

"Everyone, pack your bags. We're returning home. Don't any of you dare talk to me, I'm sick of seeing your faces. Get away from me." Pain announced and flickered away.

The Akatsuki stopped what they were doing, and without getting any of their belongings, all seven flickered away as well, eager to get away form their peers.

Meanwhile...

Zetsu fell asleep.


	5. Hinata and Naruko

**My first yuri! Requested by EmilyLovesManga, so here ya go! Hope you like it ^::^ A little warning: This is a lemon. **

At the Beginning (HinaNaru

"Um, Naruko, I think we should, um, probably get going. I- It's a bit late, don't you think?" Hinata said. Naruko tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder and pouted. "Oh, fine. If you ask me, it's good for a granny like Tsunade to learn to be more patient. Her and her temper, yeesh." Naruko muttered and started walking towards the Hokage's building, swinging her pack back and forth.

Hinata's eyes softened slightly and she smiled lightly as she watched Naruko walk so care freely. Naruko was so bold, and brave, and strong, and- well- beautiful. She was unique, even without those Kuubi whiskers across her cheeks. Hinata herself, on the other hand, she could only ever look up to Naruko. When would she finally stand up, speak up for herself?

The walk to the building was short and, for once, quiet. Naruko was too busy thinking about Ithicraku ramen, and Hinata was, well, Hinata. Just as the two were about to enter into Tsunade's office, the door flung open, revealing an angry fifth Hokage.

"Do you two know how long I've been waiting?! I expected as much from Naruko, but Hinata! Get your acts together, the two of you, and get a move on! You're already late for your mission, so pick up the pace." She snapped and crossed her arms, turning away from the two and walking behind her desk. Naruko just grumbled something and shuffled forward, while Hinata- redfaced- hurriedly scampered forth.

Tsunade clasped her hands together and looked at the two kunoichi. "This mission's an easy one- C rank- but everyone else is either on a mission or patrolling the village. You are to go to the Village of Artisans and pick up the new order of ninja tools we ordered. That's all. It shouldn't take too long, only two days. You're dismissed." Tsunade concluded. Naruko and Hinata nodded and the two walked out to the village gates.

Naruko immediately began complaining as soon as they stepped foot out the village. Hinata rolled her eyes, but inside, she always thought it was cute how Naruko was always ranting about one thing or the other.

"Lousy C- rank mission, it's beneath my dignity! Who does the Granny Tsunade think she is, the Hokage?" As Naruko contemplated that last sentence again, the journey progressed, and before either one of the two shinobi knew it, they had arrived at the village of Artisans.

Hinata made a hand sign and closed her eyes. "Byakugan!" She said and scanned the horizon. Nothing out of the ordinary there. She deactivated the Byakugan and looked at Naruko. "Let's go rest at that little hut over there, ok?" Naruko, more bored than tired, to say anything just nodded.

The hut was dry, warm, and had several bales of hay to sleep on. Oddly enough, and a bit creepy too, there was an old wooden stockade. Of course, Naruko immediately lit up when she saw it.

Hinata eyed the old contraption warily, but Naruko was giggling like a little schoolgirl. "Hinata, look at this thing! I wonder how many people have been in it?" She said creepily, wiggling her fingers at Hinata. Hinata sighed and smiled at her. She was like a little kid sometimes.

Before Hinata could say or do anything, Naruko had placed her head and hands through the stockade.

"Naruko! Are you ok?" Hinata said worriedly. Her partner rolled her eyes and smiled a closed- eye smile. "Hinata, I'm fine. I just gotta- get- this thing- is-" Hinata raised an eyebrow and watched as Naruko struggled to get out of the stockade. She repeatedly kept trying to pull her head and wrists out, and only succeeded in causing pain to herself.

"UGH! How was it so easy to get stuck?!" Naruko yelled in frustration and started spazzing out. As this was going on, Hinata raised a hand to go help her out, but noticed Naruko's black skirt had ridden up and her panties were on show. Hinata blinked several times, a dark blush appearing on her cheeks. Cheeks. Her pupil- less eyes drifted back to Naruko's exposed panties, the light pink clashing with her orange and black attire.

_Stop! You can't think of Naruko like this,_ Hinata told herself. But one look at Naruko's face said otherwise. Wasn't telling Naruko how she felt all Hinata ever wanted? She wanted to be strong. She wanted... to be in command.

Naruko suddenly stopped growling as she felt a pair of hands resting on her bottom. "Hinata-?" She said hesitantly, then yelped softly when she felt a sharp sting on one of her butt cheeks.

Hinata's voice had taken on a different tone; it was cold and commanding, yet had a loving ring to it. "Naruko, you never seem to notice me, do you?" She said. Naruko didn't reply. Hinata gently rubbed Naruko through her panties, causing the other to fall a bit limp in the stockade and moan.

"You like this, don't you?" Hinata teased and ran her finger up and down Naruko's panties. Naruko for once was silent. She didn't make a sound, save for the heavy breathing. "Let's just get this out of the way." Hinata said and without warning, Naruko felt the cold side of a kunai for a second before it was gone. And so were her panties.

A slight breeze from seemingly nowhere caused both Naruko and Hinata to shiver. Neither one had ever done something like this before, and there were uncharted waters ahead. Hinata just had to take the risk and sail ahead.

"OH! Ooohhhh..." Naruko moaned and and shifted restlessly in her prison. Hinata's finger plunged in and out of Naruko, without stop. She added a second, then a third, testing the limits of her partner. Naruko's juices coated Hinata's fingers, creating all the lube they needed.

"Faster." Naruko huffed. It was the only thing she needed to say. Without a word, Hinata's fingers sped up, ravaging Naruko. In and out, the three digits were bringing her closer to her release...then...

Hinata felt Naruko starting to tighten around her fingers, and took them out. "Hinata! What giv-" Naruko's mouth was suddenly filled with Hinata's fingers. Obediently, she sucked on them, tasting herself.

"What do you think we should do next?" Hinata asked. Not that she was going to do what Naruko said. No, she already had plans. Naruko moved her head away from Hinata's hand. "How about you get back there and finish the job!" She teased. Hinata smirked. Very un- Hinata- like.

She grabbed a handful of her partner's long blonde hair and tilted her head up. Raising a leg and placing it on top the stockade, Hinata exposed her panties for Naruko to see. She lifted it to one side and brought it closer to Naruko's face.

"Make me come." She ordered. Naruko executed the orders obediently. Even without the use of her hands, Naruko made it pure bliss for Hinata. She plunged her tongue inside Hinata and out. Her teeth grazed Hinata's little button ever so slightly, but enough to make her buck further into Naruko's face. The usually shy and reserved girl let out a long and sexual moan, throwing her head back and expressing her current bliss.

"Ohhh Naruko! I'm going to come..." She said and finally released the breath she had been holding. Naruko's tongue stopped thrusting into Hinata and she tasted her partner's juices for the first time. Hinata put her leg down, the inside of her standing leg slick with fluid. She closed her pupil less eyes and leaned forward to kiss Naruko. The other responded immediately, gently massaging her tongue. The two kunoichi sucked on each other's tongues and battled it out for dominance. Hinata, won, which was a surprise for Naruko, but she rewarded her victory with a gentle squeeze of her breast. Hinata gasped and stopped kissing Naruko, leaning her breasts closer to Naruko. A thin trail of saliva still connected the two glistening like a delicate spider web.

It was a bit awkward for Naruko, but she still managed to fondle Hinata's breast throught her thin jacket. Underneath, her nipples stiffened and perked up, obviously enjoying the attention they were receiving.

Hinata licked Naruko's lower lip one last time before going round back again. She wiggled her bottom, emotionally and physically excited. Hinata first stuck a finger in Naruko's rosebud and wiggled it around. She was met with a moan. Her free hand slid four fingers inside Naruko, who was already wet with excitement. "Yeah, that feels good." She groaned and shifted around in her wooden prison.

Hinata thought for a moment before testing something out. Carefully, she added chakra to her fingers and began thrusting them in and out of Naruko. The result was a heightened feeling of pleasure for Naruko, who's eyes opened wide and mouth dropped. "Hinata! Ooohhhh! What are you doing?!" She shrieked as the pace sped up. The chakra- infused intrusions into Naruko were building her up closer to release. Naruko sighed in pleasure and relaxed into her position, enjoying the pure pleasure she was receiving. She had never dreamed one day she's be pleasured by Hinata. Still, it was happening, and Naruko was damn sure taking advantage of the situation.

Hinata started breathing a bit harder as she pounded into Naruko in both holes. The sound of heavy breathing, something thrusting into something slick and wet, and the smell of sex filled the little hut.

Naruko gasped as she tightened around Hinata's fingers and screamed, "I'M CUMMING!" Hinata winced as her fingers were practically stuck and Naruko came onto them. Her juices once again coated Hinata's fingers, and she gladly licked them off.

Both kunoichi were gasping for breath, either from release or from effort. Hinata crawled over to Naruko and gently kissed her, both tasting each other on their lips. "Did I ever tell you I love you?" Hinata said softly. Naruko grinned and said, "No. I _guess _I could learn to love you if this is what's waiting for me everyday." Hinata grinned too and pecked Naruko on the lips again.

"By the way, could you let me out of this thing?"


	6. Karui's Interrogation Methods

**Another lemon! Ya'll are horny little readers ;) This is for (drumroll please)... sco23 !**

**KaruiNaruto**

Naruto wiggled his tied hands behind him around uselessly. The thick wiry rope wrapped around them, stopping the flow of chakra, restricted practically any movement, and bordered on choking off the circulation.

He clenched his teeth together and glared at the Cloud kunoichi in front of him. "You...you bitch." Naruto growled out. Karui smirked and flourished a long feather. In the cold drafty warehouse, a cool breeze from one of the windows blew in on Naruto. He shivered, though from the weather of anxious foreboding he wasn't sure. Karui smiled sweetly and raised a hand wielding a kunai. Naruto winced and lowered his head.

"Just do it. I'm not telling you a thing about Sasuke!" Naruto yelled. Her hand came down, the butt of the kunai coming hard down on Naruto's head. His body relaxed, slumped down in the corner. Karui made short work of his clothes, cutting through them with the kunai. She looped an additional rope through his bonds and hung it onto a hook on the ceiling.

"Hey. Wake up." Karui said and patted Naruto's cheek a couple times. Nothing. She sighed and reached down to pat him _down there_ instead. Naruto immediately came to, whipping his head around in surprise.

"Wh- what the! What are you doing?!" He shrieked indignantly and tried crossing his legs, but realized they were tied as well. Karui scoffed and smoothed out her feather again. "If you don't want to tell me about Sasuke, I'll just have to make you tell me." She teased him, lightly tickling his exposed balls. Naruto felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him- he was definitely not expecting that. "Ah- I- n- no! No...I won't tell you a- anythi- i- ing." He stammered as the feaether worked in circles, occasionally traveling up and down his shaft.

Karui smiled and took it in her free hand. Pumping it up and down, she licked the tip of his cock, all whilst tickling his balls. Naruto bit his lip hard, almost drawing blood. He wouldn't say anyting against Sasuke. They were friends, comrades, and he'd be damned if he was going to throw all that away just because some bitch was tickling him.

His closed eyes shot open. Karui had started sucking him off, in other words, a blow job.

"Still nothing?" She said teasingly. Naruto said nothing, just occasionally letting out a groan or shameful whimper.

It went on for nearly an hour. Naruto had found that by summoning the last scraps of his chakra, he could draw feeling away from the spot Karui was working at and try to ignore the sensations he was feeling.

Karui's lips were starting to become numb from the constant rubbing. She tightened them into a strict line and let out a long sigh through her nose. Running her hand through his hair and grabbing a fist full of it, Karui yanked his head towards her, leaving barely an inch between them.

"Why don't you just spill your guts to me about anything and everything you know about Sasuke? Who knows, I might just give you a little... reward." She whispered, lightly fanning her breath across Naruto's face. He tried to turn away, but her grip was iron. Maybe if he just gave her false information... No. That could end up with trouble between the Leaf and the Cloud. However, wasn't the situation he was currently in already violating Shinobi Allied Forces rules?

Naruto fidgeted around in his bindings. Karui released her grip and got on her knees, conveniently right in front of Naruto's throbbing and swollen member. Holding it with both hands, she opened her mouth wide and engulfed his sensitive cock with the walls of her mouth. Swirling the tip of it with her tongue while pumping up and down, in less than two minutes Karui had Naruto crying out and spilling his seed deep into Karui's throat.

"SASUKE!" Naruto cried out, finally getting the release he had been longing for. Karui stopped pumping and quirked an eyebrow. Naruto had just climaxed by her hand, but the name he had yelled wasn't hers. It was Sasuke's.

Naruto took deep breaths, cheeks slightly flushed, from embarrassment and exhaustion. Karui blinked several times, then took out a kunai and cut Naruto's bindings. He collapsed onto the floor, shivering. By the time he looked up Karui was already half out the door. She stopped, then looked over her shoulder.

"Oh, Naruto. Don't mention this with anyone, alright? You don't talk, I won't talk about that name you cried out when you came." And with that she left.

Naruto clenched his teeth and fists and shouted, "NO HOMO!"

**Yeaahhh, so as you can tell the ending kinda took a turn for the awkward. Hope you liked it ^-^ more to come. No pun intended.**


	7. The Loopy Fist and Company

**Sup peeps, this one's for Fairyfan54. Interesting topic, I liked it ;) Enjoy**

"Lady Tsunade, it's getting a bit late, don't you think we should just pay the bill and be on our way?" Shizune asked the drunk Tsunade tentatively. In response, Tsunade's head smacked onto the counter, rattling the empty sake bottles around it. She was asleep. Shizune let out a deep breath. An asleep drunk Tsunade was ten times better than an awake drunk one.

Lifting an arm over her shoulders, Shizune got ready to drag the Hokage home without anyone seeing her. Of course, then the bill came.

"Wait! You still have to pay the billl!" The bar owner said hurriedly. Shizune sighed, took a look at the mile- long piece of paper, and her mouth dropped to the ground. Setting Tsunade aside to empty her purse, Shizune grumbled as she pulled out a wad of cash, digging into the contents of her purse for any money. Undetected by anyone, Tsunade suddenly woke up and decided that tonight was the night to go and take a peaceful walk.

She strolled out onto the open streets of Konoha.

Rock Lee and the rest of Team Guy were laughing together, having a wonderful time as they celebrated the success of yet another youthful mission. Guy laughed heartily as he recalled one time he and Kakashi were in a contest to see who could hold their breath the longest. But since Kakashi was wearing his mask, Guy never noticed that his eternal rival had been breathing the entire time.

Lee's eyes shined with admiration. "Guy sensei, someday I will be as amazing and awesome as you are! Even if I do not have ninjutsu or genjutsu, I will show the whole world I can become a splendid ninja!" Lee declared and vigorously downed a cup of water. He hiccuped once and seemed to sway side to side a little. As Guy chortled good naturedly, Ten Ten raised an eyebrow at Lee's behavior, while Neji immediately became alert.

"Lee? Lee are you alright?" Neji asked cautiously. Lee sat in his seat, head down, then suddenly shot up and sprinted out the restaurant. Everyone sat shocked for a moment before taking action. Guy snatched up Lee's drink and sniffed it. With a look of horror plastered on his face, the bottle slipped out of his hand and clattered onto the table top. Neji and Ten Ten looked to him.

"Oh no...no, no, no, no! That stuff Lee drank wasn't water, it was my sake!" Guy cried out, holding his head with boy hands. "Neji, Ten Ten- we need to contain him as soon as possible! Who knows what kind of damage he could inflict in his current state of mind..." Guy said and with that, the three rushed out to try and capture their intoxicated comrade.

Guy was just outside the restaurant when he groaned, went back inside, set some money down on the table, and joined his students again.

"Lady Tsunade! You must stop! Lady Tsunade!" Shizune shouted as Tsunade ripped a tree out with her bare hands. Stumbling around with the tree in her hands, Tsunade mumbled unintelligible things, something about flies and swatters.

Shizune bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows. At this rate- Tsunade had just flung the tree into a street lamp- the village would be in complete mess come morning. Shizune set a determined look on her face and activated her medical jutsu, a blue glow of deadliness engulfing her right hand. "Lady Tsunade, I'm sorry to do this, but you leave me no choice!" She said and sprinted after the drunk Kage.

Tsunade's head whipped around, eyes bright, pigtails flying. "I'M THE QUEEN!" She hissed and summoned her monstrous strength to shatter the road they were standing on. Shizune's eyes widened as the ground split into pieces, causing her to stumble around and lose her footing. Tsunade cackled to the sky and dashed off into the night to cause more chaos.

"Damn it all!" Shizune cried out one last time before she dramatically sunk to her knees.

"LEE! YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN! YOU'RE NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD RIGHT NOW!" Neji shouted over the noise that was the Leaf Whirlwind Lee was currently doing to tree. His leg smashed into it, causing it to break in half and topple into the backyard of a Konoha citizen. Rock Lee stared intensely at the fallen tree, still in a defensive stance.

"Bring it- _hic_- on! I- I'm not scared of- _hic_- you!" He shouted at the poor tree. Guy, Neji, and Ten Ten all looked at the scene in complete and utter bewilderment until Guy decided to confront the drunk ninja.

"Listen Lee, your youth is admirable, but I think it's time to go home and-" Guy was cut short as Lee suddenly stopped swaying and charged him, head on with the loopy fist.

"Neji! Ten Ten!" He called and the two immediately tried to get behind Lee in order to subdue him. Similar to a trapped animal, Lee let out a fierce shout and dodged every one of their advances. No matter how hard the three tried to grab his arms or legs, he always managed to bend around their arms, or in other cases punched them.

"YOU CAN'T ST- hic- OP ME!" Lee screamed. Nearby, a couple lights in homes turned on and heads peeped out of windows. The usually quiet atmosphere of Konoha was currently in shatters, all thanks to two very strong, very drunk, people.

Lee whooped and hollered as he raised both arms in an L shape to meet Neji and Ten Ten's faces. The two let out a grunt from the impact and fell onto the ground. Guy gritted his teeth and got into a defensive stance. "Lee, I'm sorry to do this- but you leave me no choice!" He said with his eyes scrunched closed, eyebrows knit together. Lee's alert (but slightly unfocused) eyes noticed, for a split second, that Guy had let his guard down.

It was all he needed.

Just as Ten Ten and Neji were getting up, Guy was launched into the sky by Lee and crashed onto the two of them. "Ged yur fud off muh mof!" Ten Ten shrieked to Guy as Neji gasped for air. Guy's leg was currently wrapped around Neji's neck in a stranglehold. "Sorry about that Neji!" He chuckled. Inside, however, he looked down the street at the green figure escaping into the night, and wondered how it had come to this.

Tsunade stumbled around and kicked whatever was in her way. That included: trees, lampposts, fire hydrants, and the occasional fence whenever she started walking sideways. Speaking of which, Tsunade stopped as her face soon collided with a cute white picket fence. Said face darkened ominously, and she let out a battle cry and ripped the fence straight out of the ground.

Inside of it, a Konoha citizen was watering her flowers, when the fence was suddenly lifted into the air, the ends still holding on. Her mouth fell slightly open, watering can frozen in the current position.

Tsunade's face was emotionless as she slammed the fence onto the street. She faced the woman, who shrieked, and said, "All I need! Is a good 'ol...gamble...lottery..." She grumbled and strolled on her way again.

No less than a minute had passed when she was knocked off her feet by Lee. The two drunks had finally met, and so begun the destruction of the Leaf village.

"H- hey! Now, whodooya think you are?" Lee slurred his sentence. He rubbed his eyes vigorously. "Laaady Tsunade?" He said sleepily, before falling straight back, sound asleep. Or so she thought.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow and walked next to the unconscious boy. With an annoyed look on her face, she slightly kicked the ground next to Lee's head with the heel of her shoe. The result was seven feet of raised road above his head. A wide open Lee sat up suddenly.

"W- whaddya think you're doing?!" He yelled, and leapt up. He aimed for her head, but Tsunade quickly dodged it and ran to the sidewalk where she ripped a tree out from its roots. "YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" She countered and swung it back and forth. At this point, several citizens had started looking out windows to see what the commotion was. What they saw was someone who appeared to be the Hokage and a young ninja fighting each other.

The top of the tree rubbed against some of the shops nearby, scratching off paint and leaving leaves everywhere. It gave new sense to the name, "Leaf" village.

Guy, Neji, and Ten Ten sprinted as fast as they could, following the sounds of battle cries and crashes. At the same time, Shizune arrived at the scene, gasping out loud when she saw Tsunade, cheeks rosy, brandishing a tree as a weapon.

"Lady Tsunade! Stop!" She yelled, pulling back her sleeve to reveal three miniature tranquilizers. "This should knock her out." Shizune muttered. Meanwhile, Lee and Tsunade dueled it out, turning the shops and sidewalk next to them into a warzone. The pavement was crack and splintered in several places, shops unrecognizable (luckily Itchiraku was spared, otherwise there would've been _real_ trouble dealing with Naruto).

Shizune swore under her breath, unable to get a clear shot of Tsunade, what with Lee in the way. But then again, why not kill two birds with one stone? Or in this case, two ninja with three tranquilizers...

Her fingers pulled the darts back and released, with a one way trip to Lee and Tsunade.

Unfortunately, that just so happened to be the moment Guy tried getting closer to Lee.

There was no pain. All three darts shot straight into his leg, making him make a strange noise before face planting on the ground. Shizune's mouth fell open and she stared in shock and disbelief.

"HAH?! How did you- why did- what were you- why did this happen to happen now, of all times?!" Shizune screamed to the skies. The local people who had begun to look out from their windows closed them slightly, a bit frightened.

While Shizune was taking deep breaths, Neji and Ten Ten raced to their fallen sensei. "Guy sensei! What were you thinking charging in their all by yourself?" Neji said exasperatedly. A loud crash caught their attention back to the two at hand.

Tsunade raised her head. The disoriented Lee, plus the trashed store he was in, plus the red mark on Tsunade's forehead all added together could only mean she had just headbutted him into the shop.

"What insane strength...it never ceases to amaze me..." Neji remarked. Ten Ten narrowed her eyes at him. "Come on! If those two keep going after each other, pretty soon the whole village is going to be wrecked! Or worse, one of them'll dieeee!" Ten Ten yelled into his face dramtically, all while shaking his shoulders back and forth. Neji's head hung limply. "Got the message."

Tsunade wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. This fight was starting to get boring. What she needed was a good swig of aged sake. Yeah, that would do it.

While the Hokage was getting drunk off the thoughts of sake, Shizune took her small opportunity to tackle Tsunade to the ground, slapping a chakra- stopping seal onto her forehead. Immediately, her body went limp, and she started snoring like a baby. Shizune sighed and heaved the body off of her. Wiping her forehead free of the perspiration that had started appearing, she nodded to Neji and Ten Ten. They were to take care of the remaining trouble.

Turns out, it wasn't too hard. Lee was still in the destroyed shop, flat on his back with his mouth wide open. Neji and Ten Ten stood over him. "Do you think he's really asleep?" Ten Ten wondered. Neji took the same chakra- stopping seal that Shizune on Tsunade, and slapped it onto Lee's forehead. "Even though he doesn't use his chakra, it can't hurt to take any precautions." He said. The two of them dragged their teammate out of the shop, shooing the people that had gathered around them.

Neji went to retrieve Guy, who was curled up in the most adorable, yet disturbing, way possible of a grown man. With the three tranquilizers still stuck in him, it would take at least another hour for him to regain consciousness. Ten Ten waved goodbye to Shizune, who was already probably hauling Tsunade back to her office to punish her with papers.

"Well that was...an interesting night?" Ten Ten said tiredly. Neji made a grunt of agreement, and the two pulled the other two strikingly similar shinobi behind them. Come morning, and they were bound to start yapping about the condition their hair was in after being dragged on the ground. But, at least Lee would be sober.

**The End :)**


End file.
